5 Things He Wishes He Could Tell Her
by xana4
Summary: 5 Things G Callen wishes he could tell her...but that he can't. My first attempt with Callen/OC so please be gentle
1. Chapter 1

_Very Important Author's Note: Dear beloved readers, we are gathered here today to celebrate a very special date to me. I didn't tell you anything but I broke my wrist a month ago. Today, I took off the cast and I'm back. And what better way to celebrate that than by posting a brand new story? Well, this is something I've been working on for a few months now and I feel like it's time for you guys to read and tell me what you think about it. I used to write Callen/Kensi but it doesn't feel right anymore. However, I still love Callen's character and I had this idea for a story. I do not own any recognizable characters but Elizabeth Collins (in all her glory) is all mine. This small story will be 5 chapters long and it's a prequel to the story I've been working on for the past three months. This is kind of an insight into the relationship between Callen and Elizabeth, something I'm going to develop in the main story (that I'll post after I post the five chapters of this one).Give me your honest opinion about this and I'll publish chapter 2 of this one tomorrow. _

**5 things G Callen wishes he could say to Elizabeth Collins**

1. "No one cares about you as much as I do."

He learns soon after they become partners that she has brothers.

It's a subject that she doesn't like to talk about and he knows better than to push her.

Callen knows firsthand how it is like to have secrets you don't want anyone to know about.

Elizabeth is definitely that kind of person. She's not the kind of girl someone would peg as a federal agent but she's a damn good one. She's as sweet as can be, something quite surprising to him. A girl who decides to join the army at the age of 18 and that endures that life-style for over 6 years should have had all the sweetness sucked out of her.

But she's sweet and she likes to talk. Her bright green eyes sparkle with excitement whenever they talk about basketball, also known as her favorite sport. Her blonde wavy hair bounces off her shoulders when the subject is so funny she can't help but laugh.

However, if the conversation starts heading towards her family she changes. She seems weaker, sadder. She's not that tall (at least a head shorter than him) and when that happens she looks a lot like a small scared little girl. He can see the ghosts of the past haunting her just by looking into her eyes.

The thought that maybe her past had moments so bad that she can't even talk about it with him makes him shudder.

Elizabeth is sweet.

God, she's so sweet.

He wishes he could tell her no one cares about her as much as he does and that she can tell him everything (that he will never leave her side) but he can't.

G Callen is not the kind of guy who voices his feelings so he just watches as she picks herself up and changes the subject, lightening up the mood with one of her bright smiles.

And he admires her strength.


	2. Chapter 2

**2. "Seeing you fast asleep on my chest used to be my favorite part of the day."**

He can't honestly say that his work is an easy one.

Callen works for a federal agency and on cases that often show him just how bad people are capable of being. It seems like there are human beings out there that have no idea of what's right or wrong, morally and legally speaking.

So there are hard days, days in which all he wants to do is forget everything he saw, everything he witnessed. Those are the days that give him nightmares that last for nights in a row.

There are also easy days. Those are the ones in which nothing happens. Even though spending the entire day filling out paperwork and trying to find something to do might sound quite boring he needs one of those days every once in a while, for the good of his mental sanity.

However, if someone asked him what's his favorite part of the day the answer would be crystal clear. There are a lot of questions he can't find an answer for but this is simply not one of them.

Sure, he would never actually say it out loud but he knows without a shadow of a doubt what his favorite part of the day is. Saying it out loud would go against who he is. He doesn't do feelings. He knows just how much that can hurt. He never had steady role-models of affection while growing up either so that might help. He would never admit this out loud.

The best part of his day is when he looks down and sees her fast asleep on his chest.

Sometimes, on the end of a hard day, they fall asleep as soon as they get home, tired after the long day and comforted by each other's presence. Chances are they'll both wake up several times during the night with nightmares because of what they've seen that day but knowing that they're not going to wake up alone helps a lot more than what he first thought it would.

On the end of the easy days, he puts on a DVD, she makes some popcorn and they watch a movie before going to bed. It's usually on those days that their clothes end up scattered all around the floor and the room is filled with the sounds of their passion.

One way or another, the best part of his day is when Elizabeth falls asleep cuddled to his side, her head on his chest and her warm small hand holding onto one of his.

And he gets used to that pretty quickly.

X

X

_Thank you for the reviews on my first chapter. I know that this might sound all a bit weird but keep in mind that it will all be explained on the sequel. Only three more chapters to go on this one before the real fun begin. Reviews are highly appreciated. _

_I'm creating Elizabeth's character from scratch so there are a lot of things I can do with her. If you have any suggestions, anything you'd like to see, feel free to let me know. _

_Anyway, I'll post chapter 3 as soon as I can (probably in two days)._

_Sarah_


	3. Chapter 3

**3. "It killed me to leave DEA and leave you behind."**

It comes a day when he realizes that he wants to do something new, something different.

Henrietta Lange, the legend he heard so much about and yet so little at the same time, comes to see him one day and offers him a job in NCIS.

At first he doesn't know what to say but when she tells him it's a branch designed for undercover work he knows this is exactly what he's been looking for.

This is what he loves, what he's truly good at. He can become whoever he wants to without much of an effort, without feeling guilty about it afterwards.

Maybe that happens because he has no one there to be disappointed in him. He has no family to leave behind whenever he needs to go on a deep undercover assignment.

So he accepts it, with Elizabeth's strong encouragement, and quits his job in DEA the week after Hetty's visit.

He tells Elizabeth to be nice to her new partner and promises her that this is not a goodbye, just a 'see you later'.

He tells her truthfully that there's too much history between them for this to be a goodbye.

And he means every word of it.

The words he desperately wants to say, however, are the ones he keeps locked inside of him.

Feelings are something he doesn't know how to deal with.

His childhood brought as many downsides as upsides, it seems.

So he doesn't tell her that leaving her behind was the hardest part of the whole thing and that he briefly considers asking her to come with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**4. "I miss you every single day."**

Callen calls her six months later but it's her new partner who answers the phone. There's a hint of jealousy there but Callen ignores it. He doesn't even know the other men.

She's working undercover to bring down a dangerous group of drug-dealers. Callen asks the other man to tell her he called her whenever she comes back from this operation.

Every single day he makes sure he has enough battery on his phone to last the entire day, desperate to hear her voice. He knows this is ridiculous but he can't help it. Callen is not sure what took him so long to call her anyway. He figures that maybe he was too scared. Of what, he's not sure. But maybe he knows that hearing her voice will only make him miss her even more. God, he's not even sure he can miss her more than this.

He's not used to work with anyone but her. This is all new, all different. Sure, he wanted a change in his life but he wanted her to be a part of that change. This is not what he had envisioned.

He waits patiently and she ends up returning his call two months later. Elizabeth tells him she got back three hours before and asks him how he's been doing.

Callen considers telling her the truth. He wants her to know he's been missing her like crazy every single day. But he can't. She sounds happy, her voice as soft as it used to be. He wants to touch her, kiss her and hold her in his arms again. But there's fear consuming him. He's afraid to open up to her and hear her say she doesn't miss him nearly as much as he misses her.

So he tells her he's okay, tells her that his new job is amazing and that he loves it. Elizabeth tells him she's slowly learning what it feels like to work with someone else. They talk for ten minutes before she says she has to go finish her reports.

He promises her he will call her soon but he's not sure if he will. He's not one to break his promises but knowing that she's doing fine without him breaks his heart. Knowing that she's just the same as she was before he left hurts him in a way he wasn't expecting.

He's not the same without her but it seems like he will have to learn how to deal with it.


	5. Chapter 5

**5. "I think I might be falling for you."**

He's not nearly as strong as some people give him credit for. Callen knows he should try to stay as far away from her as he can. He knows this is dangerous and that one word from her is enough to make him drop everything and drive all night if that's what it takes to get to her. He promised himself he wouldn't call her again. He's painfully aware that she needs to move on and she won't be able to do that if he keeps calling her.

It lasts one month. He never expected it to last that long but it does. He doesn't call her. Sure, he thought about calling her too many times but always ends up not having the guts to actually do it. But when his phone rings and her name flashes on the screen he is tempted to answer it just to hear her sweet voice on the other side. He doesn't, though. He's at work and it's probably better if he tries to keep his personal life away from it.

Elizabeth is not someone who gives up without a fight so she calls him three more times during the day. When she tries a fourth time he has long run out of excuses not to pick up the phone. Callen is alone in his house now and the work is long gone from his mind. So he sighs and answers the phone.

Her voice seems angry on the other side. "Why did you take this long to answer the phone? Were you trying to worry me?"

And he hears said worry in her voice. It makes him realize that they really need distance. He can handle talking to her and hurting himself in the process. But he can't handle talking to her knowing that he's hurting her. "I think we should stop calling one another."

Callen expects her to fight back with all her mind but her voice comes out as a whisper after she hesitates for a second. "Why do you say that?"

Callen closes his eyes and can actually see her sad face. "Eli, we're no longer partners. We're nothing. We need to focus on our jobs, invest in our new partnerships. We will never be able to do that if we keep clinging onto the past with all out strength."

Elizabeth takes a second to answer but when she does her voice is coated with so much anger he almost takes it all back. "If that makes it easier for you, you can forget everything you know about me. In fact, pretend I died. Goodbye, G Callen."

It's only after she hangs up the phone that he allows the words he really want to say to her to leave his mouth, mixed with a sob. "I think I might be falling for you."

**X**

**This is the end of this story. Do you still feel like reading the sequel of this? It will be a lot longer, I can assure you that.**

**Sarah**


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